Cheap.

It gets lonely at times but I should never settle for those cheap attention. Ugh. I can do so much better. I’m tired of telling my close friends different stories about every new guy I meet. I don’t fuck any of them, it’s as simple as everyday texting and calling. I still feel a little dirty from that even though it’s just talking or what not. It’s the fact that I keep talking to different ones. I know it’s not bad because it’s just talking and I should enjoy my time with a new company but things like that gets old. It really does.

UGH.

So done with how I’ve been with guys. I gotta quit playing and just be by myself. I’m not saying “I’m done with guys” but I just need to stop being so “emotionally-easy.” I enjoy talking to them but I later dislike the thought of being with them. It’s immature and stupid. I gotta know what I need from what I want. The guys I’ve recently talked to just walked into my life. I don’t go around really looking for anything. It’s more of a “oh hey, you’re new! Let’s talk. Good company.” He later falls for me or I do and then shit just ends out of nowhere. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason may be that we’re not meant to be or just a lesson passing me by. I have learned a lot these past few people I have talked to. No lie, I love talking to guys but I just enjoy their company. It ain’t like I screw around with any of them. I can honestly say that I am content with my family and friends. If I think this way then I am definitely not ready to be on any relationship. I’m not looking, they just come in my life temporarily. Some of them may have left a mark and it’s something to not regret but appreciate. Nobody dies alone, I believe somebody is meant to be with someone. Some are just lucky to have met them already and some are unlucky to have missed their opportunity. I might not have someone solid right now but no doubt in my mind that I’ll meet them someday. Life’s full of surprises.